Lukewarm need not apply - I want FIRE

Wow, two srs bsns blogs in two days ... I am on a roll the likes of which has never been seen here.

Okay, today I'm thinking about being lukewarm. We had a really great Sunday school lesson yesterday - I think it was meant just for me. In a nutshell, it had a lot to do with paying attention to your witness, how people are watching and you have to set an example through your actions and your words. Does anyone know that song where the chorus says, "You're the only Jesus some will ever see/You're the only words of life some will ever read"? I haven't heard it in ages, but that chorus has always stuck with me. Or like my dad says whenever he prays before a Mountain Outreach project, "Let someone see JESUS in us!" (You'd have to hear the emphasis he puts on "Jesus" - it's kind of hilarious and he does it every.single.time.) But anyway, that was basically what the lesson was about, and our teacher went back several times to that passage, I think it's in one of Paul's writings, where it talks about how God won't tolerate anyone being lukewarm about their faith - commit to one side or the other, but don't sit on the fence.

I'm having to face the realization, once again, that I've been sitting on the fence. I don't want to, I sincerely want to live my faith every day and be a light to those around me, but sometimes that's much easier said than done. I don't actively hide my faith or anything, but it's done passively and it's entirely possible that it's worse that way. In other words, it's not that I say the opposite of what I should, it's that I say nothing at all. This kind of hit me like a ton of brick today when I was perusing a friend's blog and I noticed that she proclaimed her faith up front, first thing. That kind of jumped out and kicked me in the face because I don't do that. I have this horror of those people who get in your face and are aggressive about it, and I don't want to be like that - but I think I'm taking it too far and saying far less than I ought to. And then I got to thinking, you know, maybe that's some of the reason for this dissatisfaction and unhappiness I've been dealing with lately. Maybe God's trying to get my attention and tell me that I need to kick it up a notch. If I was getting in the Word and praying like I should, maybe I wouldn't be so unhappy, maybe I wouldn't be feeling this discontent and pull toward something I can't even name. Maybe if I got back where I needed to be with God, whatever it is that I'm wanting will come to me. Or maybe I would find that I'm not really missing anything at all.

All that being said - easier said than done. It's hard to carve a place in your day for time with God, although that really ought to be a priority. It's so easy to say oh, I have to do such-and-such a thing, God understands. Or to rattle off a little prayer right before falling asleep without taking time to really get into details and give God time to respond. I'm certainly guilty of doing that, and I'm sure if they're honest most people would have to agree. I don't want this to be the case with me, though.

I want to be as close to God as I can get and have my heart tuned in to hear whatever He has to say to me. More than anything I want to be a godly woman, to make sure that whatever anyone knows about me, they know that I'm a Christian. I want to be the person that someone knows they can go to if they need prayer, and can be sure that they'll get it. I want to serve. I want joy to radiate from me such that those around me can feel it. I want the confidence and assurance that can only come from God. I want to be happy and secure in life knowing that I'm doing what God wants of me and He'll take care of me no matter what. This is my prayer: take away me and fill me with You.